Media Mavens: In Conversation with Azia To

After several misdiagnoses, being told her pain was all in her head, and feeling ashamed by what she was experiencing, Azia To was diagnosed with vulvodynia and vaginismus. Now fully recovered, Azia has made it her mission to help others feel less alone and share how she healed her condition to lead to her now pain-free life. Sharing her own experiences online helped Azia grow a digital community of over 50K TikTok followers where she raises awareness for vulvovaginal pain conditions. The author, philosopher, and entrepreneur is now building DilatoTech, a compassionate community and support group that provides a safe space with over 50 comprehensive learning courses and interactive chat forums on topics ranging from dilators and treatments to dating and mental health. 

Today, she sits down with us to talk about her experience talking about her disorder online, how to get comfortable sharing vulnerably on the Internet, building a company that supports your community, and more. 

CLEO: After sharing your own experience with vaginismus and vulvodynia on TikTok in 2022, you have built a company, an app, a community, and at-home support tools for other folks with vulvovaginal conditions to help them experience a shift from pain to pleasure. What was going through your mind when you first posted and when did you decide that this could be an opportunity for a business to support the people in your community?

AZIA: At least one in four women experienced painful sex in their lifetime. When I was 18 and experienced my own vulvovaginal pain disorder, I thought I was the only one. I spent years feeling ashamed, dismissed by clinical doctors, healthcare professionals, and peers, and was told that my pain was “all in my head.” Once I opened up about this online, everything went viral. Hundreds of women resonated with my story and said how my journey brought them to tears because they thought they were alone, too.

The overwhelming response was a turning point. Hearing from so many who shared my struggles made it clear that there was a significant gap in support and understanding in this area. This realization sparked the idea for a business dedicated to providing empathetic, accessible resources and a supportive community for those facing similar challenges.

Currently, there is a pain gap in the healthcare system for women and all vulva owners. My mission is to close that pain gap through DilatoTech, our support platform. 

CLEO: Do you have any advice for sharing such personal topics online in a way that is supportive to others?

AZIA: Establish your boundaries before posting online, especially if your journey is related to other people, including family, friends, and loved ones. Communicate to them that they may be mentioned, and offer to use anonymous names to respect people and their privacy.

Regarding authenticity, speaking about your personal story is like working a muscle. It's not necessarily going to come easy when you first start. Like training a muscle, it takes a lot of practice to get comfortable sharing online. I originally started choosing vulnerability and sharing intimate stories about my life through writing, which was less intimidating than showing up on camera. I practiced every day by posting Instagram captions and blog posts to explore vulnerability in creative ways. Eventually, I published my own book and started sharing on video. Start with the small steps until you feel comfortable!

CLEO: You’ve been sharing while building your company DilatoTech on TikTok with your community of almost 50K followers. What do you think new brands need to know about building an online following that deeply cares about their mission and feels seen by what they are doing?

AZIA: A great piece of advice is getting an interview with your community members and recording the conversation with their consent. Create a document with all their answers, phrases, and tone of voice then apply it to your copy on social media. Relatability is one of the highest conversion points. People are more willing to build trust with someone that they can relate to. If your brand voice resonates with the consumer on a personal level, they are more likely to pay attention and see themselves in that product or service journey because they’ll understand that you know how to serve them. 

I use my community chat rooms, which are off of social media, to learn more about my consumers and figure out what questions they’re asking at all points of the customer journey. Once I’ve explored their needs, I use those questions as video headlines, hooks for my videos, blog content, and email subject lines. 

My second piece of advice would be to take your community off social media. There is this misconception that social media following equals community, which isn’t actually the case. Your social media following is your audience - NOT your community. To me, community means you’ve changed someone’s behaviour in some shape or form due to your work, and they are actively engaged in your work. 

You can expand your community by building an email list or bringing your social media following to a channel like Slack or Discord where they can connect with each other and share how your product or service has changed their lives. This is also a great way to quantify the number of people who you see as your superfans versus ghost followers.

CLEO: DilatoTech offers knowledge, and mental, emotional, and social support systems to your community of folks with vulvovaginal conditions so they can experience a shift from pain to pleasure with an at-home community approach. How has your online presence sharing your experience, tips, and helpful resources about these conditions made an impact on your community?

AZIA: I receive hundreds of DMS every day, from folk around the world sharing how my videos helped them feel less alone. By sharing experiences, insights, and resources, we've helped initiate healing journeys, support emotional well-being, and foster a sense of belonging. The feedback has been incredibly moving; people from around the world reach out to share how our content has helped them feel understood and encouraged them to seek treatment without shame. 

We already have a support group chat with hundreds of folks with vulvovaginal pain disorders, who have found peace among themselves and the state of their current conditions. This demonstrates the transformative power of vulnerability and community in addressing health challenges, especially those surrounded by stigma.

CLEO: We’re seeing growth in the women and women + health space recently – which is honestly super refreshing. As someone building in the space, what are you most excited about seeing in today’s women’s health landscape?

AZIA: We still have a long way to go in the SexTech, MedTech, and FemTech space. There is still a lot of bias, stereotyping, and racial profiling for many marginalized communities, including queer, Black, Indigenous, folk of colour, and folk with physical and mental disabilities.

Trauma-informed practice is needed both internally as a company, as well as demonstrating how to unlearn and learn across our community and platforms. Women’s bodies have only been involved in clinical trials, including those studying menstruation and menstrual care products, within the past 10 to 15 years. The clitoris was only introduced in textbooks in the early 2000s. Women's bodies are seen as taboo in academic research. This has led to our opinions and input, both academically and on the frontline of healthcare, to be seen as invalid which is why this pain gap exists compared to cisgender men. 

I'm excited for this world to start to listen to us and understand our pain and our experiences, seeing us as real humans. Our bodies are so intricate, complex, and beautiful. And I can't wait to create an even bigger, safer space for women to explore this and be empowered to educate themselves on it.

CLEO: What would you tell other brands creating for similar communities to keep in mind when it comes to their audience?

AZIA: If you’re in the SexTech space, be prepared for the algorithm to fight against you. Peer-to-peer networking will be one of your greatest assets. Leverage a grassroots, community-centered approach with brands that align with your mission. Most of the time, we’re all working towards the same collective goal, so find your team of supporters in the industry. It reminds me of my favourite quote, “When one tide rises, it lifts all boats.”

This is a great reflection of the FemTech and sexual and menstrual health space in Canada, as it’s more of a collaborative than competitive space. I highly advise tapping into that and making friends along the way!

CLEO: A fun one to finish off, what are your favourite things to do outside of your business?

AZIA: Outside of Dilato, I love activities that connect me with my physical and spiritual self, especially through movement. I'm a certified personal trainer, working at F45 as a coach. I enjoy running, weightlifting, pole dancing, heels class, and other creative ways to tap into my body. 

I was a digital nomad for three to five years living in both Spain and Ireland, so I ended up getting tattoos in (almost) every country I visited!

From hosting dinner parties, vision boarding with friends, and delving into astrology and human design – I love quality time with others and myself. All these activities outside my business keep me grounded and inspired, both personally and professionally.